Posted on 11:52 PM | By KatieSham | In
I feel so empty right now. Like I'm missing something.
So many things are going on right now and I feel so many different things. I'm within days of finishing high school. I'll be graduating in a little over a month. I don't even know how I feel about that anymore. I'm still beyond excited to be done with this part of my life. At the same time though, I'll never be here again. High school will be done and I'll never get to experience that again. While I'm not really...sad about that, it's just weird to think about.
When I was little I always figured people that were as old as I am now new exactly where they were going in life, exactly what they wanted. That's so laughable now. I have no idea what I want anymore. I'd even say I had a better idea of what I wanted when I was younger. But maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I've given up trying to do what I want and figure out what God's plan is for me. Boy is it hard.
Blah. And I'm just not happy. I'm not necessarily sad. I just feel like I'm not doing something right. I feel like I'm forgetting something, like I'm missing out on something. Well, I guess I kind of am. I'm not doing most of the traditional senior stuff. Which I didn't think would bother me, but now that I'm here, it kind of does. Prom, big graduation, I dunno.
I'm ready for this summer. To be completely (for the most part anyway) carefree and just live life.
Things I Hate:
pollen, allergies, not saying what I want to, untuned guitars
Things I Love:
harmonies, boys that harmonize, blankets, sweet tea, Regina Spektor
So many things are going on right now and I feel so many different things. I'm within days of finishing high school. I'll be graduating in a little over a month. I don't even know how I feel about that anymore. I'm still beyond excited to be done with this part of my life. At the same time though, I'll never be here again. High school will be done and I'll never get to experience that again. While I'm not really...sad about that, it's just weird to think about.
When I was little I always figured people that were as old as I am now new exactly where they were going in life, exactly what they wanted. That's so laughable now. I have no idea what I want anymore. I'd even say I had a better idea of what I wanted when I was younger. But maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I've given up trying to do what I want and figure out what God's plan is for me. Boy is it hard.
Blah. And I'm just not happy. I'm not necessarily sad. I just feel like I'm not doing something right. I feel like I'm forgetting something, like I'm missing out on something. Well, I guess I kind of am. I'm not doing most of the traditional senior stuff. Which I didn't think would bother me, but now that I'm here, it kind of does. Prom, big graduation, I dunno.
I'm ready for this summer. To be completely (for the most part anyway) carefree and just live life.
Things I Hate:
pollen, allergies, not saying what I want to, untuned guitars
Things I Love:
harmonies, boys that harmonize, blankets, sweet tea, Regina Spektor
You ALMOST made me cry....
I can't say that I fully understand what you're going through...I was never held under by that on-campus stuff associated with highschool.
But I can say that I DO understand that unknowing feeling that comes with finishing a chapter you felt like you'd be in forever...and starting a new one you didn't realize was so close...
May the ending of this season bring you CONTENTMENT to move ahead to find the future....one thing I choose to believe: with God, everything is already done, because he is outside of time. Because of this, our job is simply to BE.
I hope you are able to find the encouragement to continue on, and to shine as the Katie I know.
Love you.